


Don't fucking apologise

by Ghostwriter9723



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alice Cullen is a Good Friend, Domestic Violence, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Sad Bella Swan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:02:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24311746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghostwriter9723/pseuds/Ghostwriter9723
Summary: My breath was coming in quick gasps as my feet pounded the pavement. The only thought in my head was that I had to get away. I’d finally reached my breaking point; I couldn’t take any more. Half an hour ago when he fell asleep, his rancid breath blowing the odour of stale cigarette smoke and beer across my face I steeled myself. I slid out from under his arm, knowing that the beer would keep him asleep for at least a few hours, pulled on my underwear and clothes and ran right out of the front door.Rape and domestic violence are mentioned in this story, please read the tags and keep yourselves safe!
Relationships: Alice Cullen & Bella Swan, James/Bella Swan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Don't fucking apologise

My breath was coming in quick gasps as my feet pounded the pavement. The only thought in my head was that I had to get away. I’d finally reached my breaking point; I couldn’t take any more. There was an odd moment after he’d finished punching me but before he’d started with his belt that I decided that I needed to get away. So, half an hour ago when he fell asleep, his rancid breath blowing the odour of stale cigarette smoke and beer across my face I steeled myself. I held my breath and slid out from under his arm, praying that the beer would keep him asleep for at least a few hours. I pulled on my underwear and clothes swallowing my gasps of pain and ran right out of the front door.  
  
The funny thing about abusive relationships is that they sneak up on you and destroy everything. When I first met James last year, he was a suave, confident, charming man. He was amazing, perfect even. He was courteous to my friends, respectful to my parents and my cat liked him. He would make me dinner and bring me flowers and pull out my chair for me at the restaurants that he would take me to.  
  
The first time he hit me I was convinced it was an isolated incident. He was under a lot of stress from work and his Dad had a stroke and was struggling to recover and he’d been drinking. These excuses along with a million others ran through my head while I smeared arnica cream over my black eye and tried to figure out how to hide it before work the next day. And afterwards he came to me on his knees with a bouquet of my favourite flowers, tears in his eyes, promises and apologies on his lips and I apologised! I fucking said sorry for causing him more stress. And he just let me apologise to him for the beating he gave me and I felt relieved that he was staying. Like an idiot.  
  
The abuse wasn’t just physical. I learned quickly that being thrown into walls and beaten with his belt hurt but was nothing compared to the agony of his words and that apologising was the best thing for me to do. By the time our one year anniversary rolled around I was completely ostracised from anyone that wasn’t him. My relationship with my mother was always an odd one; I looked after her more than she looked after me and she needed me less and less after she married Phil. My Dad and I were very close though, he supported me and loved me and was a bit wary of James; that’s probably why my relationship with him was sabotaged first. He started asking questions that James didn’t like, and I got defensive – why would my own father be so cruel about the love of my life? I haven’t seen him for almost a year now.  
  
And Jacob, my childhood best friend, my oldest friend. He hates me now too, ever since James beat him up and took a bat to his car. All because he confronted him about my fractured ribs. Alice stuck around the longest, but she suggested that I leave James once too many and then she was gone too. And now I’m here, nothing but the clothes on my back, the bruises on my face and the ache between my thighs to keep me company as I wander the streets of Forks.  
How could I face them?  
  
Would they even help me now?  
  
Did they even remember me? The girl that they all cared so much about that abandoned them for a man that treated her as a punching bag and a sex toy. The adrenaline wore off when I was a decent enough distance from the apartment that I shared with James, annoying because it was the only thing preventing me from feeling the cold seeping through my thin t-shirt and ratty sweatpants and the aches of my body from where he punched and kicked and beat me. The most insistent ache is the one between my thighs, the pain and the grief and the humiliation that always followed him shoving my legs apart and taking what he wanted. I learned long ago not to fight it, it was worse and the bruises took longer to heal if I gave him a reason to keep smacking me around.  
  
Not that he needed a reason, mind you.  
  
Although I thought it was pointless, I found myself stumbling towards Alice’s place. Jacob had told me to never speak to him again, my Dad’s was another half an hour walk and my bare feet were cold and bleeding on the pavement. I stumbled up the front steps of her house and collapsed in front of the door, briefly wondering if she’d moved in the six months since we’d spoken before raising my hand to knock as hard as I could from where I was slumped on the porch. I waited for a few minutes, trying to gather the strength to knock again when I heard shuffling footsteps on the other side of the door.  
  
Suddenly the door was pulled open and my steady support was gone; I fell forwards into the house, not even enough energy to prevent my head from cracking against the hardwood floor of the hallway. I heard a gasp and felt small delicate hands cradling my head and softly tracing the bruises on my face and neck, subconsciously nuzzling into the gentle touch. It had been a while since physical contact resulted in something other than pain.  
  
“Oh Bella, what the hell did he do to you?” I heard her whisper, a sniffle in her voice as she brushed a lock of straggly hair out of my face. I fought to open my eyes and look at her, my pixie like friend with a heart of gold that loved me even when I was defending my abuser and tried to convince me to press charges. I slowly reached up and grabbed her hand, soft and delicate in mine and held onto it like a lifeline.  
  
“I’m sorry Alice. I’m so so sorry.”  
  
“Don’t you fucking apologise for what that piece of shit did.”  
  
She didn’t let go, not when she called an ambulance and the police, not during the ride to the hospital, not even when my Dad showed up, still in his uniform. She let me cling to her, smiling softly every time my eyes landed on her face and even pressing gentle kisses to my hands and forehead. And when I cried because of how I’d pushed her away and ruined our friendship she shushed me and wiped my tears away and told me everything was going to be okay.  
  
And I believed her.

**Author's Note:**

> I might do a follow up with Bella beginning her recovery with Alice by her side, Might introduce the idea of a potential love interest and get Jacob back into her life. Maybe a bit of payback on James too.  
> Thanks for reading guys, please comment and leave kudos!


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